Rise and pine: The Score's 'Haugh & Payton' showing inexperience in new roles

A morning radio show is supposed to wake up its listeners, activate their brains and entertain them.

Two months into its existence, The Score’s “Haugh & Payton” show is 0-for-3.

Those who tune in have been subjected to two co-hosts who are learning on the job, which isn’t befitting of a show in a sports-crazed town that’s the third-largest market in the country.

How can you tell? Allow me to explain.

Last week, a man called the show from prison to talk about the Bears’ victory against the Falcons. Yes, from PRISON. It was one of the few times I perked up listening to the show. He questioned coach Ben Johnson’s decision to pull the defensive starters early, which helped the Falcons get back in the game.

David Haugh complimented the question — he’s a caller’s best friend — and asked the man where he was calling from. To make sure he was part of the conversation, Jarrett Payton interjected with, “Yeah.” The man said he was in Waupun prison in Wisconsin.

“I actually had a marijuana case in Illinois and ended up here for a gun violation,” he said. “Needless to say, I love the Bears. My uncle’s got season tickets. I watch the game every Sunday. Just a big NFL fan.”

Haugh and Payton thanked him for calling, gave him their answers and moved on. I thought, “Wow, they should’ve done a lot more than that.”

This wasn’t Bill from Berwyn calling. It was a prisoner of the state. Back in sports radio’s heyday, that would’ve been manna from heaven. Can you imagine the conversation Terry Boers and Dan Bernstein would’ve had with him?

That’s the kind of situation where Haugh, a longtime newspaper man, and Payton, a longtime TV man, show their inexperience in radio. Add in the fact that Haugh is driving the show (radio term) full-time for the first time, and there’s a lot of learning going on for everyone to hear.

Let’s start with Haugh, the incumbent co-host. People have told me that I write the way I talk. Having read and listened to Haugh, there might be something to that, because he used to write long and now he talks long. (I know I’ve written that before, but it’s fun to do.)

He’s in a tough spot. Mike Mulligan was the show driver before The Score fired him in August. Now Haugh is running things and perhaps trying to compensate — intentionally or subconsciously — while Payton acclimates to talking for 4½ hours instead of 30 minutes.

Haugh spews a lot of thoughts and information, but he’s just talking. It’s easy to zone out listening to him. For all the video streams of radio broadcasts, it’s still an audio medium first. Talking on the air is a learned skill, and there’s a performative element to it that he lacks.

Payton has it. He has a personality and a way of talking that can grab your attention. He just needs more things to say that aren’t about University of Miami football. He either is leaning on executive producer Dustin Rhoades to fill in the gaps or Rhoades darn well knows he needs to fill in the gaps because the show might as well be called “Haugh, Payton & Rhoades.”

The Score ran a promo that declared, “Jarrett Payton is bringing it on the ‘Haugh and Payton’ show.” That was followed by Payton saying, “My biggest surprise was Caleb Williams, where the ball was coming out of his hand, and I’m going, ‘Holy cow, this dude can spin it.’ He is special. I didn’t know he was gonna be that efficient.”

If that’s bringing it, imagine if he likes someone.

But Payton has shown he can mix it up. In another rare moment that caught my attention, Haugh and Payton were interviewing Bulls coach Tiago Splitter when Splitter said he didn’t like to hear his voice. Haugh asked why that was.

“I guess nobody likes to hear their own voice,” Splitter said.

To which Payton said, “Coach, David does.”

Haugh laughed and took it in good fun, as he should’ve. With two other shows on The Score and two on Chicago Sports Network, Haugh should get some ribbing. Guys busting other guys’ you-know-what is part of sports radio. More of that, please.

But don’t hold your breath. Neither seems willing to deliver a strong, unique opinion. Haugh doesn’t take enough stands, and Payton spews too many clichés. Sometimes he sounds like an athlete after a game, which, in fact, he was. Did you know he played at Miami?

“It’s about taking advantage of your situation and focus on what you need to get better at,” Payton said of the Bears, sending my pupils higher in my head.

Boers used to open every “Boers & Bernstein” show saying, “We’re going to do the best we can to keep you informed, entertained, perhaps have a laugh or two along the way.” By that criterion, “Haugh & Payton” are 1-for-3. All those words provide some information of value.

They’re going to have to learn on the job much faster to make the show better.