Who speaks for you? Choosing a medical power of attorney

(Aging Untold) — Staying in control as you age can mean choosing someone you trust to make health care decisions if you can’t. The key is picking a person who knows your wishes and will keep them front and center.

The Aging Untold experts are talking about what a medical power of attorney covers, how to set one up and why you should have the document with you.

What a medical power of attorney can decide

Sam Cradduck, a gerontologist, said the person you name holds a wide range of decision-making power.

“They can decide whether you’re going to have surgery,” Cradduck said. “They can decide whether or not you’re going to go into a skilled facility in a rehab after a surgery. They can decide if you’re going to go into an assisted living. They can decide if you’re going to be at home, who your caregivers are going to be.”

The person you choose needs to be someone who can set their emotions aside, she said.

“You need to make sure that this person knows you, knows your wishes, will honor your wishes, and that they’re not going to be torn by emotion if it comes down to life and death decisions,” Cradduck said. “You need to know that this person can advocate for your wishes, not for their heart’s desire.”

A medical power of attorney is a document that goes by several names, including health care surrogate, health care power of attorney and health care proxy, and those names all refer to the same thing, aging expert Amy O’Rourke said.

Why being married is not enough

Married couples should not assume a spouse can make decisions for the other, O’Rourke cautioned.

“Don’t just think because you have a family relationship that you’re going to have the power to make these decisions,” she said.

O’Rourke said a spouse who goes to the hospital without a medical power of attorney could be turned away, depending on state rules and laws.

Keep the paperwork where it can be found

Another thing Cradduck said to keep in mind is that having the physical document matters.

A hospital does not have to honor a person who says they have power of attorney without the paper, she said.

In a car accident, “That doctor can be the one making the decisions and he doesn’t know what your wishes are,” Cradduck said.

Copies of the document should be easy to grab, people involved should have duplicates and know how to produce them.

“This needs to be something that a paramedic can find. Might be on your fridge,” aging well coach Katherine Ambrose said. “It is not something to have locked away in a safe deposit box. It needs to be with you.”

Choose someone with integrity and backbone

Cradduck compared the choice of medical power of attorney to picking a designated driver.

“This is literally picking out your designated driver before you go to the party,” she said.

Ambrose said the person you choose needs to be able to stand up to others.

“Even long lost relatives will show up during a medical crisis and try to say what they think their brother would want,” Ambrose said.

You can help that person by communicating your wishes to others, she said. You could also record a video of what you’ve asked them to do.

A video might not stand up in court, but it could persuade a sister or son, Ambrose said.

Ambrose also raised the idea of naming a backup person in case the first person isn’t available.

Dr. Rhea Rogers, a board-certified physician, said a medical power of attorney does not take away your rights.

“It is not taking away your rights as long as you have capacity,” she said.

Where to get the paperwork

O’Rourke pointed to FiveWishes.org as a resource.

“Medical power of attorney is not that hard to get,” O’Rourke said. “There’s a lot available online, but FiveWishes.org is a wonderful site because it’s very expansive in the topics that they talk about.”

Ambrose said local charitable organizations may also offer essential documents. For more help, she said, an estate planning attorney can help put all essential documents in place.

Check your state’s rules, including when you travel

O’Rourke said a medical power of attorney does not need to be notarized in every state, but some states require it.

“Just go back and check your state rules and regulations to make sure that you’re following the protocol that your state set out,” she said.

Cradduck said people who are traveling should make sure that they have their bases covered. Do not assume a state that doesn’t require a notary has the same rules as the state you’re visiting.

Resource

Five Wishes

Key takeaways

1. Name a specific medical power of attorney. Standard powers of attorney don’t cover medical choices.
2. Don’t count on your spouse being automatic. Spouses don’t automatically get to decide.
3. Pick someone who knows your wishes. Choose a person who will honor them and not be torn by emotion in life-and-death decisions.
4. Pick someone who can handle pressure. Don’t just choose your closest relative. Choose someone who can handle intense medical pressure and will fight for your wishes.
5. Check your state’s rules and name a backup. Notary requirements vary by state, including where you travel. A backup person can step in if the first isn’t available.

This program is provided for educational and informational purposes only and does not constitute providing medical advice or professional services. The information provided should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem or disease, and those seeking personal medical advice should consult with a licensed physician. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health provider regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have seen on this program. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room immediately. No physician-patient relationship is created by this program or its use. Aging Untold/Gray Media, nor its employees, contractors or agents, nor any contributor to this program, makes any representations, express or implied, with respect to the information provided herein or to its use.