Psychologist offers guidance on helping children cope with Malayshia Allford's death

PHILADELPHIA (WPVI) -- As the West Philadelphia community mourns the death of 10-year-old Malayshia Allford, families are facing difficult conversations with their children about violence, loss, and personal safety.

While parents may not be able to take away the pain of a tragedy, mental health experts say they can help children understand and process what happened.

"Death anxiety is very real, especially for children, especially when the death is very unexpected, and that is what we call traumatic grief," said Dr. Uche Ukuku, a licensed psychologist specializing in trauma.

Malayshia was a student at Robert E. Lamberton Elementary School. Her death has left families grappling with how to explain the loss of a young life, particularly to children who may be struggling to understand their own safety.

"We're not expecting as a 12-year-old, as a 10-year-old, that my friend might pass away, and so it can result into an increased anxiety of what's going to happen to me," Ukuku said.

Malayshia's foster mother, Carprice Williams, is being charged with her murder. Williams is also a fifth-grade teacher at Lewis C. Cassidy School.

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Ukuku said allegations involving someone entrusted with caring for children can be especially difficult for young people to comprehend.

She emphasized the importance of creating a safe space for children to express their emotions and ask questions.

"It's actually really important to talk to kids directly in child-friendly language too, where you're able to ask them, ' How are you feeling? What's been going on?'" Ukuku said.

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Parents should also pay attention to changes in their children's behavior, which may indicate they are struggling emotionally.

"Some kids are very much internal processors, and so they can become more withdrawn; they might not want to do the things they used to do," Ukuku said.

Emergency crisis response counselors from the Office of Prevention and Intervention are providing support at Robert E. Lamberton Elementary School to help Malayshia's classmates cope with the tragedy.

Philadelphia police also visited the 500 block of North Simpson Street, where Malayshia lived, on Friday to distribute information about trauma resources.

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The Philadelphia District Attorney's CARES Unit visited the school to provide additional outreach and support.

Mayor Cherelle Parker also visited Malayshia's school. Ukuku stressed that helping children process grief should extend beyond the immediate aftermath of a tragedy.

"Checking in January, even February, like, 'Hey, this is something that happened to you; it's okay to still be sad about this,'" Ukuku said.

Crisis response counselors will remain at Robert E. Lamberton Elementary School for as long as needed, providing continued support to students as the community navigates the loss.