How to speak up for yourself or a loved one during a medical crisis

(Aging Untold) — When you or someone you love is facing a medical crisis, it can be hard to think clearly, let alone know what questions to ask.

The Aging Untold experts share ways to speak up, understand the care plan and help make sure your loved one’s needs and wishes are heard.

Speak up when something doesn’t seem right

Aging well coach Katherine Ambrose described advocating for her husband when he was expected to leave the hospital and return later for surgery.

She didn’t think he was ready to go home, so she raised her concerns with a nurse and contacted a social worker. By the time she returned to the hospital, a plan was in place for him to stay.

A couple of days later, she noticed that he seemed to be getting worse rather than better. She brought that concern to a nurse, who began making calls.

Ambrose said the team discovered that her husband was missing a medication and that he improved after receiving it.

“That’s what we mean by advocacy, is paying attention and asking questions and being vocal,” Ambrose said.

If something feels different from your loved one’s usual condition, tell a member of the care team what you’ve noticed and when the change began.

Ask questions until the plan makes sense

Gerontologist “Sam” Cradduck said you don’t have to have medical training to support your family member. It is important to ask questions and support your loved one, she said.

“A story is being told and you should be able to connect the dots to that story,” Dr. Rhea Rogers, a board-certified physician, said. “And if you can’t, you have to keep asking until you fill in the missing pieces.”

Build a team and know your loved one’s wishes

Advocacy doesn’t mean doing everything alone.

Aging expert Amy O’Rourke said knowing what you don’t know and where to go to find it is a skill as a medical advocate. You also need to know hospital systems or who can explain them because you’re helping coordinate a discharge plan, she added.

“And know your person, know what you’re advocating for. If you don’t know their values and their priorities, it’s hard to advocate for them,” O’Rourke said.

Keep good records, write things down and keep track so you can share relevant details with the care team when needed, O’Rourke added.

“You’re really just trying to get an understanding too. Yes, we want what’s best, but we also just want to understand. We’re just trying to make sure that things are going the best that they can,” Ambrose said.

This program is provided for educational and informational purposes only and does not constitute providing medical advice or professional services. The information provided should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem or disease, and those seeking personal medical advice should consult with a licensed physician. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health provider regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have seen on this program. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room immediately. No physician-patient relationship is created by this program or its use. Aging Untold/Gray Media, nor its employees, contractors or agents, nor any contributor to this program, makes any representations, express or implied, with respect to the information provided herein or to its use.