Harger: Turn signals, tailgaters, and the 5 most annoying drivers on Seattle freeways

I drive to work in the dark, and I’m coming down the ramp from westbound Highway 18 onto northbound I-5. Wipers going. Coffee in the cupholder. A semi is barreling down the right lane, and there’s a car in front of me on the ramp.

I can already tell what kind of driver this is. We’ll come back to them.

Now, I’ve done every single thing on this list. So in the spirit of a lighter Friday commentary, I counted down the five most annoying drivers on Seattle-area roads. Two of them found me on my commute this morning. I figure if I experience this all the time, you do too.

No. 5: Western Washington rain drivers, both kinds

Rainy season splits western Washington drivers into two camps.

Camp one sees a heavy downpour, watches everybody slow to 50. Here comes the lifted pickup, or the Honda Civic, whatever it is, flying by at 75.

Camp two sees the first drizzle of the season and drops to 35. In the middle lane. Hands at 10 and 2, leaning so far forward their nose is practically on the windshield.

Somehow both camps are always on the road at the same time, usually right next to each other, with me in the middle wondering which one is about to cause a crash.

No. 4: The I-5 tailgaters who have rewritten physics

I’m up and down I-5 every day, and I’m convinced some drivers have discovered a new law of physics. Apparently, if you follow less than a car length behind somebody, you can stop a 4,000-pound vehicle doing 70 miles an hour in that tiny gap.

Maybe they’re the next Einstein. I see semi drivers do it, too. Less than a car length.

This morning I got the fun version. I tend to drive in the second lane from the right. Two other general-purpose lanes and the HOV lane are to the left. I’m in no rush. The car in front of me was crawling, and I had nowhere to go. The guy behind me rode my bumper anyway. Freeway’s wide open, dude.

No. 3: The line-cutters at the I-5 express lanes

I’ll admit it. I used to be one of those people who didn’t understand the zipper merge. Then came a good public education campaign, and now I’m a convert. Use both lanes and take turns at the end. It’s usually well marked. It’s more efficient. I get it now.

But cutting in line is a different animal. Picture the big backup getting onto the northbound I-5 express lanes. Everybody’s waiting their turn. Then somebody rolls up at the very last second, finds a gap, and cuts you off. I’ve been waiting in line for several minutes like a chump while that guy decides his time is much more valuable than mine.

We all learned about cutting in line in kindergarten.

No. 2: Washington drivers saving their turn signal for a special occasion

What’s with people not using their turn signals? Maybe I’m jaded, but it feels like a crapshoot whether the cars around me will, you know, signal about what they plan to do while we’re hurtling down the freeway at 60 miles per hour.

This morning, a guy who wasn’t looking swerved right into my lane, and I almost got hit. No signal. No warning. Just a car where there wasn’t a car a second ago.

I’m still not sure he knows I exist.